I wasn't going to participate in the P31 Blog Hop today because I am just too busy!! But I love writing and it helps to sooth my spirit and calm my anxieties, so I will write a little bit about what is going on. Today is ONE of those days!! Those crazy, never know what's going to happen next, want to just go back to bed days! It's super hot (for northern NH), my husband and I both have colds, I was woken up several times last night, and then this morning we woke up to find out that our oil tank is empty (our water heater runs on oil). So dishes are piling up. Then we find out that our car, which was already in the shop, needs more work than we thought. I am trying to plan to teach our preschool program for our church's Wednesday night ministry and can't get my thoughts together. Meanwhile, I'm still doing all the normal mom stuff! Feeding children, wiping up messes, potty training, changing diapers, playing outside in the kiddie pool, and babysitting two older children. Doing my best to keep them occupied and happy as well! Phew!
So, I was starting to get stressed out and then I just stopped and thought....God's got this. I mean, He's always in the details of our lives, working and showing us things about Himself, right? And since I'm at that point right now where it really is all I have to give...I'm at my max. But He isn't! Because when I'm about to crack under the pressure, then He reminds me that He's the one who has been carrying this load all along.
I often worry more than I should about silly things. Not this time. Well, my sinful nature wants to keep trying to figure out all the big decisions we have to make on top of all the every day stuff. I want to start planning and scheming and think of how I can make it work the best way possible. But....I am reminded, for the millionth time, that I am not the one who knows best! I could plan and plan, but God is completely aware of all my needs and He knows the direction I should take. So I trust in Him to guide me. The reality is, I could give all I THINK I have to give to try to make my plans come to fruition. And...it still wouldn't be enough. But that is ok!! I need Him to guide and direct. I need Him to open doors where He wants and close doors that He wants me to stay away from. I need this because I don't know it all. I can't, and I never will! Sometimes I wish I had more control, I think all of us do at times. But, imagine all of the stress, the responsibility, the fears, and the anxieties that would come with all that responsibility! No, I much prefer it this way. He is in charge, and I follow. I don't have to pave the way, I can sit back and let Him do all the work. That's the life for me. :)