The Story of Judah Benjamin's Arrival - November 11th, 2015

Several months ago, we had a bunch of very exciting things happen all in the same week. It was Sunday, March 1st, and I found out there was going to be a third Howry baby joining our family! Beyond ecstatic, I had no idea just how much was about to change in our lives! The next day, we had a showing for our house. It was nothing new, we had many showings over the years, but this one was THE one that changed everything. On Tuesday, March 3rd, we received an offer, and the next day, it was under contract. Now we were weeks away from living in a new place, with two small children and one sick pregnant mama. Oh boy, here we go! What an adventure. We found a place to live just in time, the sale of the house went as smoothly as anyone could hope for, and right after we moved in I made these shirts for the kids to wear as we announced our news to the Facebook world. Our family was going to grow yet again! 

Overall, it was a pretty easy pregnancy. I was really sick in the beginning which was difficult with the move, but soon after we settled in, I started feeling better and we began our new "normal". Chloe turned 3 in June and I took on a couple of children to babysit for the summer. We stayed busy, busy, busy! I have to say this was definitely the "fastest" pregnancy I have had yet. I just feel like the time flew by. We were constantly on the go, I stayed really active, and we made the most of the beautiful weather we had. Then fall arrived, and with it, our first real homeschooling adventure...preschool! All the way through September and October, we stayed busy with so many activities. I just wanted to soak up all the time I could with my two munchkins before I had a baby to focus my attention on. These two kids have been such a joy and I adore them...and watching them become older siblings has been an incredible thing. I know they will be great at taking care of their baby brother.

October 14th - Still 4 weeks out from Judah's birth date! 

There's the back story. :) During the month of October it quickly became more and more difficult to function. My belly got VERY big and "pointy" as many people liked to say, but I still felt good and did as much as possible to keep the kids active and busy. Around the end of October, I began with false labor contractions. They would start to get regular, then stop all together. This went on night after night for weeks! It made me think I might not make it to my due date (which of course I was wrong about yet again!), but I was actually very happy to make it to the 40-week mark as I knew this meant the baby was nice and healthy and strong. Another thing that was causing me to feel anxious was the baby's position. His head was down, but he kept moving from posterior to anterior multiple times a week or even in the same day! I was nervous about having a long painful labor and delivery because of that, so I was trying all kinds of exercises and positions to try and help this little guy flip into the right spot and stay there, but nothing I did seemed to change anything. I definitely felt that God was teaching me that ultimately this is not in my hands and I have zero ability to control this. I still felt that temptation and struggle on a daily basis, though. I just wanted to do whatever I could to get this baby here as quickly and easily as possible! As the days past my due date ticked by (I was due on the 5th), I became increasingly frustrated with myself and feeling like I needed to "do something". I have been down this path before with Elijah and I did not mind what the calendar said, but I was getting so uncomfortable that I really couldn't do any of my normal things anymore and I was just tired and ready to be done. I found myself withdrawing from pretty much any gathering of people because, as much as I love them all, I didn't want to talk about it. I didn't want all the eyes staring at my belly (because trust me, that's what everyone does when you're that huge!), and I didn't want to answer questions. Because..I had no idea why I was still pregnant either!! I told Derrick that I now understand why cats go off on their own to deliver their babies. There is something so private about the whole thing and I just didn't want to involve the whole world anymore. Don't get me wrong, I was so blessed and encouraged by all the love and support I had from family and friends. I was just worn and emotionally drained. I needed time alone to reflect and pray and come to a place of surrender...it wasn't easy and I wavered many times, but ultimately I knew it was not in my control.

I'd say things began to change on my actual due date, which was on a Thursday. That night I had regular contractions and once again, they went away. But I do remember that they started to feel different. I was terrified that Tuesday would come and Derrick would have to go back to work. I could barely lift Elijah anymore and regular chores were incredibly difficult. I prayed and pleaded with God to keep Derrick home the following week. And then, Tuesday morning at 3:30, I woke up with REAL contractions. I waited about an hour before waking Derrick, but I couldn't sleep. They were real ones, I was definitely in pain, and I knew this was good. But I also knew it could be a long early labor because of how the baby's position had been. So I finally woke him and we decided that I was too uncomfortable to be alone. Praise God! He let me keep my hubby home that day. Nothing was regular, though, and after a whole day, they actually got weaker and further apart. I was so discouraged. My wonderful midwife told me that things would probably pick up once the kids were in bed and I wasn't distracted by them any longer. She was right! They went to bed at 8 and almost immediately, my contractions started in again. But they were still REALLY far apart and I still didn't feel like it was active labor. I fully expected it to be a long night and for the baby to be born sometime during the day on Wednesday. I pretty much resigned myself to this, even though the contractions were long and very painful, some even lasting almost 2 minutes! Finally, around 10 pm, I decided to check in with my midwife again. My contractions were still further than 12 minutes apart at this point, and she didn't want me to keep going like this as it would just tire me out and still not progress things very much at all. She suggested that I do a position technique to try and get the baby to come up out of my pelvis and realign his body to be in a better position for delivery. In my head I seriously doubted this would work, but when I got off the phone with her, I knew I should at least try it! So I did, then laid down for a little while and tried to sleep. Dozing off in between contractions, I started telling Derrick when they were coming and we realized that they had suddenly become regular, but were still only 10 minutes apart. I stood up and felt my belly and realized that now the baby's back was perfectly positioned in the middle, right where it should be! The intensity and frequency of contractions picked up considerably from that point on. Around 11 pm, I was begging God to not let this last all night, because I knew I wouldn't be able to stand it! We still thought I had plenty of time, because they weren't much closer together at all. I labored through them, moved around a lot, and even ate and drank! (Something I had just insisted would be impossible for me to ever do during labor). I stayed completely alert and aware this whole time, which I think made Derrick and I both believe I hadn't progressed too far yet. Usually when things get intense, I'm completely in the "zone" and don't really interact much. Finally, around 12:30, I asked him to at least inflate the birth tub so I could just see it and have some hope. He agreed and got to work. Shortly after that (probably closer to 1), I started saying I wanted Natanya here, so he called her and she got ready to head out. She also told him he should start filling the tub. But at this point, my contractions were still probably 8 minutes apart (or close to that), and it really did not seem imminent. So he told her not to rush. Right after he talked to her, they jumped to about 5 minutes apart. I could barely move or catch my breath. Yet I was still walking to and from the bathroom, trying to sit or stand in different positions to find some relief, and then trying to get ready so I could jump in the water as soon as it was filled. I started telling Derrick that he needed to hurry up because I felt like I was holding the baby in with every contraction! Right when he finished filling it, I felt like I was transitioning because the contractions were back to back and I had no more breaks in between. I even started yelling a little bit through some of them which is also something I've never done before! Finally, the tub was filled and at the perfect temperature. I got right in and had some immediate relief as the water lifted me and helped me relax.

My contractions almost came to a halt. My first thought was, "Oh no, I got in too early, now my labor will be even slower!" But then I just decided I'd might as well enjoy the water as much as I could so I found a good position and just hung out there.



One contraction came and went, but nothing happened. Then another. This time I felt like pushing a little to see if my water would break...it didn't. I think I had been in the tub for about 25 minutes total, if that, when suddenly the last contraction came and that was the moment it all happened! My water broke and instantly the baby started coming out with it! I had been sitting, but jumped up to my knees and screamed, "The baby's coming!!" And there he was, just like that. I think this delivery was even faster than Elijah's. It all felt so surreal, especially since only minutes before this, I had worried that I still had hours left to go. I delivered his head, and the rest of him came out instantaneously. Derrick wasn't close enough to reach him so I had the amazing experience of catching my own baby and bringing him up out of the water. WOW. My baby was in my arms and I had no idea what had just happened.



He was beautifully pink and those lungs kicked into gear right away with nice loud cries. We busied ourselves making sure he was all set. Good color, check. Breathing, check. Crying, yes. Warm blanket around him, good. Oh....what about the gender???? Maybe we should look now! And at the same time we both exclaimed, "A boy!" We laughed (because I was totally wrong about my "gut feeling" that it was a girl) and I kissed our little baby and finally got to name him....Judah.
 Once we assessed that all was well, we called Natanya. She was 5 minutes away. This guy just did not want to wait for her to get here!

She came in and took care of us...seriously my midwife is amazing. She just went right to work and was perfectly calm. Two hours later, she left and I was resting and nursing Judah and we all dozed off for a couple of hours before the kids woke for the day.

Reflecting on this experience, I'd say it was my most challenging labor yet, and also the most rewarding. Having the opportunity to experience this with my husband just cannot be described very well with words. He was amazingly calm, did all the work, and got to be my "honorary" midwife. I already thought he was incredible, but now he's pretty much a rock star in my book!

God has blessed us with another child to love and care for. I don't take this responsibility lightly! We are so thankful for the opportunity to raise up children to know and follow Him. Will we have more? I don't know...but He does. And that's enough for me right now. :)

 

 

How to Have a PERFECT Marriage......For Real.

Did I get your attention with this? Think I'm just gonna brag on my husband and gush over him for the next few (or several) paragraphs? Well, I do love him, but that's not what this post is really about. So, bear with me as I try to unpack these deep, meaningful realizations founded on God's Word that I think many of you will find encouraging....at least it was for me, so I hope it is for you, too.

I often feel like there is something missing in Christianity. Well, there are a lot of things missing. But one big thing is that we don't talk enough about the eternity that awaits us. You know, the one that will be infinitely longer than the mere decades we spend here on earth. We somehow forget that, as a dear friend once told me, earth is just our "training ground" for the life that is to come. And oh, what a life it will be! Peace, comfort, and unspeakable joy. I mean, we have these things now, to a degree. But it is not without intermittent periods of  sorrow, anxiety, stress, and other struggles. Not there, though. One day, all the negatives will be gone from the equation...and life will be as God designed it originally. It will be His perfection and glory resounding everywhere and in all of our hearts forever.

Catch my vision yet? Hang on, it gets better.

Occasionally it hits me hard that one day my darling love and I will be separated. Temporarily, of course, but still, unless we are ushered into eternity at the same time, we will exist apart someday. Last night was one of those times. That thought usually brings me quickly to the next thought, which is to try to imagine what life in heaven will be like. I know that God's Word says there is no marriage in heaven. But won't I miss him? Won't I long for that relationship we once had? It breaks my heart at the thought of being near him but not being "allowed" to be together. It sounds cruel. It sounds devastating. I was saying all this with tears streaming down my face...until Derrick shattered my thoughts of despair with these words:

 "You won't need me. You'll be complete."

Philippians 2:1-11 - The Ultimate Example

I am really enjoying typing out my thoughts on Philippians! I also find that it really helps me to focus as I'm reading each passage. Instead of just reading it and moving on, I'm reflecting and trying to organize my thoughts. There is so much we can learn from God's Word. If I did this study 3 more times, I'm sure I could pick out at least that many more topics to write about! And then a year from now, I would probably see completely new things. The Bible truly is alive and powerful!

This passage is definitely one of my favorites. I am just so blown away by what Christ has done for us all. And I love the mental picture I get when I think of seeing "every knee bow" in worship of our great Savior!

In Chapter 1, Paul talked about how there were some who were preaching the gospel out of rivalry, and not out of the right motivation. He went on to say that he wants the Philippians to be "standing firm in one spirit, with one mind striving side by side for the faith of the gospel" (1:27).

In Chapter 2, he tells them how they can achieve this unity in spirit: through following Christ's example of humility--

"Do nothing from rivalry of conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross." (vs. 3-8)

I have always had a longing deep within me to be a part of something bigger than myself. I believe that this is something most people desire, and that God wired us to want to be part of a community. We need each other! However, too often I have allowed myself to build walls, to remain distant, to just be an "island" and not be truly unified with my brothers and sisters in Christ. The reason? Pride. Exactly the opposite of what Jesus has done. Instead of counting others more significant than myself, I have put my own needs and wants first. Because of that, when those requirements were not being met, I decided that being part of a body of believers was not worth my time and energy. I nursed my wounds and hid in the corner, playing the victim and blaming others for my loneliness. The reality is, I wasn't willing to obey God's Word in this area. I didn't want to put others first. I wanted everyone to put me first! The thing is, we can't read God's Word in order to fix everyone else. James says that it acts like a mirror, by which we can see our own reflection. It is not our job to make sure everyone else measures up, but that we ourselves are obeying and following! This is why obeying requires TRUST. Because we must do as He asks, and recognize that His way is always best, whether things turn out the way we would like or not.

Hmmm, that may have been a bit of a tangent.

Anyway, my point is, I needed an attitude adjustment (and still do, from time to time!). And on a daily basis, I need a reminder to put others before myself. To look at their interests and needs as more important as my own. How do I achieve this? This is not easy, because as humans, we are naturally very selfish. The answer? Jesus. It's always Jesus. His example is so incredible. He IS GOD. That is not something to be taken lightly! He gave up position in heaven to become a lowly human on earth. And, that kind of humility is just unthinkable...but it doesn't stop there. No, he didn't just walk the earth for a few decades, being subjected to sickness, grief, hunger, thirst, and exhaustion. It goes far, far beyond that. You see, He allowed Himself to be put to death by us. The same people who He counted as more significant than Himself. The ones who He came to rescue. We crucified Him and He still did not fight back, because His death is what would save us, and He was putting us before Himself.

So, if you are desiring to be truly connected with the body of Christ, follow His example. And in those times when it seems like you're on the outside looking in, take a look at how you're viewing others. Are you seeing their needs? Are you truly reaching out, asking people how they are doing, and praying for others on a regular basis? Are you inviting people into your home, participating in times of study and prayer? I promise you, if you are doing these things, you will be unified with other believers. It will just happen naturally. And, in the process, you will think less of yourself and more of others, just like Jesus has done when He came to live on this earth. And the next time you struggle to sacrifice yourself for others, think of all He gave up for us. It may change your perspective.

Philippians 1:19-30 -- What would YOU choose?

While reading through this last section of Philippians 1, I was struck by the way that Paul wrote as if he truly had a choice whether or not he would live or die. I don't think God was leaving it up to him, but I think he was really trying to share openly and honestly about how he was feeling as he faced certain death (and, come to think of it, we ALL face certain death, it's only a matter of when). Verse 21 sums up his thoughts well.

 "For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain."

I've actually reflected on this verse many times in my life. How can dying be greater than living? Well, because of Christ. He has turned death into a thing of victory and joy, if we belong to Him. But life has its perks, too. We are placed here for a purpose. Bringing glory to God is the only way to have fulfillment. It's the only thing that satisfies. That's why he says that to live IS Christ. And, Christ IS life. There is not one without the other. But, Paul was honest when he said,

"I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better. But to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account."

Philippians 1:12-18 - the Gospel is all that Matters

Today has been less interesting. And I am ok with that! It is a gorgeous, warm, summery day smack dab in the middle of October, though! Such a tease, because I know it's going to just get colder from here on out. We are enjoying it while it lasts, with some extra time out in the yard playing this morning before lunch. Gotta make the most of these kind of days!

My thoughts on this passage are brief. But I love this section. I love Paul's willingness to just be laid out as a sacrifice as long as the Gospel goes forth. He actually seems to write with excitement as he proclaims,

"I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel, so that it has become known throughout the whole imperial guard and to all the rest that my imprisonment is for Christ." (vs. 12-13)

We've been studying the book of Acts in our mom's group Bible study, and have been reminded of all that Paul went through. It would be easy for him to say, "It stinks that so many horrible things have happened to me, and I am tired of being falsely accused and imprisoned for no reason at all. I give up!" (OK, I'll admit, this is probably what I would have said.) But, because Paul sought to glorify God with his life, he didn't look at it selfishly. Instead, he saw the big picture. He saw that the truth of the gospel was being brought forth and that was something to celebrate.

He even goes on to talk about some others who were preaching the gospel, but with the wrong motives. They were driven by "envy and rivalry" (v. 15) and not by love. Paul could have taken offense by this. He could have been humiliated and hurt and angered by their selfishness. But instead, he was just full of joy that the gospel was being preached.

I think this is important to keep in mind. We should not focus on who is teaching it or what their motives are. As long as the true Gospel is being taught, that should be all we need to concern ourselves with. Maybe someone has a method of evangelism that you do not agree with, or vice versa. For me personally, I am not a big fan of street preaching. I have no problem with others doing it, and I know that people do hear the message and come to faith in Christ. But, do I see myself standing there with a megaphone and a handful of tracts? Not really...nope. I'm just too shy and nervous for that! I get so embarrassed and stumble over my words and...it would just be disastrous. But do I see myself teaching the Bible to a room full of children? Or sitting down to study with a friend? YES. Absolutely. Our methods may be different, but the message is the same. And that is truly all that matters. There is no greater cause for rejoicing than seeing His truth proclaimed to all who hear!

Philippians 1:1-11----Finding the Joy in it All

As it turns out, this week is a perfect time to start a study on being joyful. I have a lot swirling around in my head and my soul is just longing to stop and enjoy God's presence. So that is what I'm doing today, with this blog post. As I just read through Phil. 1:1-11, a few things stood out to me. This isn't going to be an exhaustive study, but just an overview of what struck me as I read. So bear with me if it's not a perfect "exegesis" (Bible College word) of the text. :)

Verse 3 is where my eyes first land:
"I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine for you all making my prayer with joy, because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now. And I'm sure of this, that he who began  good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ."

Did you ever notice how easy it is to find the negative? Why is that? I could be having a perfectly fine day, and yet I will still take the time to notice the things that went wrong, and recount those events to anyone who will listen. God is really doing a work in my heart and showing me that this needs to change. In this passage, I think of Paul, who was imprisoned, without much hope of ever being released. As he reflected on his relationship with the church at Philippi, what was he thinking about? He was focused on all that had been accomplished for the sake of the gospel through these believers. Every time he remembered them, he thought of them and prayed for them with joy and thankfulness. It would have been easy for me to sit there and worry about them. "Oh no, what if they forget what I've taught them, what if they are led astray by false teaching, what if they get into petty arguments and cause divisions in the body?" Or I would start remembering all of the negative things that had happened in the church and hope and pray that these things don't ever happen again. But Paul didn't waste his time on all that. Instead, he focused on the work that the Holy Spirit is doing in each one of them, and as a church collectively. He, I'm sure, remembered the rough patches, and the person or two that he'd had a disagreement with over the years. But it wasn't his focus. His focus was praising God for them, longing for them, and confidently assuring them that God is working in and through them.

His desire is for them to continue to grow and bring God more glory. That is what all of us should want, both for ourselves and for the believers around us! Now, back to the present. God sure picked a good day for me to really dig in and rely on Him more as my joy, my strength, and my comfort! Today has been a doozy. Is that a word? Because I've heard it many times, but I have no idea how to spell it. haha! Anyway. It was harder than most, but not impossible. It started off a little rocky when Chloe's tummy decided to send breakfast back up. I don't remember if I prayed initially or not, but I was able to find the calm place long enough to think to strap Elijah into his high chair so I could tend to her. This usually results in a screaming baby, but God gave that little boy a desire to play quietly for about 15 minutes, long enough for me to do all I needed to do. A coincidence? I think not! :)

Right after that, Elijah got his hand caught in the bathroom door. Still not sure how that one happened. But I felt SO guilty for not catching him before that happened! As I sat with him, Chloe came over and kissed his hand. Then, while I was crying my eyes out (because I really did feel like it was my fault), Elijah looked up at me and started giggling. He was laughing at my "ugly cry" face, I'm sure. But it was enough for me to find the joy, yet again.

A few minutes later, I was sitting on the floor, both kids clinging to me. I said, "We need to pray, guys." So that's what we did. Chloe prayed her little 2-year-old prayer and I prayed a short, desperate-sounding one for strength. When we said "Amen", Elijah stopped clinging to me and crawled off to play happily. I think he felt the peace that had just washed over me.

In the midst of all this, a friend brought some clothes to our house for Chloe. We found some things that she really is needing for winter! Also, there was a plastic shopping bag full of those little "ball pit" balls. We went out on the porch and Chloe was beginning to fuss for lunch, which I hadn't had a chance to make yet (she doesn't have a tummy bug, thankfully, another thing to be joyful about!). I grabbed that bag, ripped it open, and instantly there were smiles and laughter all around! More joy.

AND, I'm so thankful my husband has a job close by that allows him to come home at lunch time if I really need him to! He came and helped me fix lunch and get the kids all settled before heading off back to work. That is easy to be thankful about!

This may seem like little stuff. And really, it is. In the grand scheme of life, these are the details. But God is in the details of my life, just as He is in yours. There aren't compartments of life for God. He doesn't exist only in those parts of life where we go to Church, or when we have a Bible study, or sing worship songs. He is there for every part. When I'm sitting at home folding laundry, reading, doing dishes, playing with the kids, or just resting...He is in those places, too.

So...at the end of the day, if you ask me how my day was, what am I going to focus on? The lows, the failures, the stress? Or am I going to remember how God was there in those moments, giving me peace, calm, and yes, even JOY? Let's remember Paul's example. When reflecting, he could have recounted the things that bothered him, but instead, he just thanked God and prayed that these believers would be "filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God." (v.11)

Your turn...what are your thoughts on this passage? Did something else stand out to you as you read? Do you struggle (like I do) to find joy in the craziness of life?
Please share!

New Blogging "Series" - A Study through the Book of Philippians!

Yesterday, our church studied I Thessalonians 5:12-18. As we were being challenged to "Rejoice always and pray without ceasing" (vs. 16-17), I was reminded of my own personal conviction I've been experiencing lately to spend more time focusing on God throughout my daily activities. As a mom of young children, I don't often have time to sit down and open my Bible for study (though I often desperately want to). However, I do not need to do this in order to spend time with Him consistently each and every day. Our pastor then encouraged us to do two things:

1) To remember that we are always in God's presence as believers, because we have the Holy Spirit. And to really make a conscious effort to just BE in His presence throughout daily life.

2) To keep a journal to help us remember all that God has done and is doing, and to use this to give us the opportunity to take time to truly rejoice in Him.

I really loved the journal idea. I used to journal all the time in my teen years, and in college. But after that and now as a busy mom, I just struggle to find the time to write out my thoughts by hand. (And maybe I'm also just a little bit too lazy to write it all out....hmm thanks, technology!) Well, I decided that since this blog is dedicated to many different subjects, why not study a book of the Bible and write out my thoughts on here? I really love just reading through and seeing what jumps out to me. I love how God's Word works like that! Alive and powerful. I need this study time to bring some things into focus and if you do, too, I invite you to join me. Read through the passage I read, and tell me what jumps out at you. Or just do your own journaling! I chose Philippians because there is a lot in there about having joy in the Christian life. And it was also written by Paul, at a time in his life when there wasn't much to be joyful about by worldly standards. He was imprisoned and facing imminent execution. This would have been a perfectly understandable time for him to be extremely discouraged. Yet, he sent this letter to encourage other believers. I think we have a lot to learn from this book (and every other book of the Bible, too ;) )!

I'll start out by reading Philippians 1:1-11. I plan to write my thoughts out on this passage tonight or tomorrow afternoon. So stay tuned. And if you get a chance, read it too and give me your thoughts either on the Growing Together FB page or on the blog! The more people to study with, the better. I love getting others' perspectives!